For as many years as I can remember, New Year’s Eve has meant sweet nothing to me. I cannot fathom spending two or three times the amount a regular night out would cost me, and trudging through the cold while I feel it seeping into my bones and making my whole body ache, just to celebrate the end of the year with a bunch of obnoxious strangers. Often I have my children with me anyway, and maybe we would put the ball drop on TV for them and let them freak out at midnight, but I just don’t get all caught up in the hullaballoo.
This year I worked until 11pm and managed to make it home before the ocean of people who celebrate in Victoria Park in Niagara Falls swarmed back to their expensive parking spaces and created utter gridlock in the streets. I had ten minutes to spare, and my fiancé and I had a glass of wine and kissed at 12:01. We were in bed shortly afterwards. The next morning, I kicked off my new year with a trip to the gym, and then picked up my boys, and I wasn’t hung over with gut rot all day so I actually enjoyed my New Year’s Day. My family came over and we spent the afternoon together. At 32, I’m already feeling like my body can’t handle alcohol the way it used to and most times if I do drink I prefer to do it at home. We have a local bar I love to go to for live music occasionally, but you probably won’t find me there on New Year’s Eve. What is the big deal about December 31st? Who decided that there would be 365 days in a year? I mean, obviously I know somebody did, in accordance with some sort of astrological bullshit, but to me it’s only another day.
New Year’s Day, on the other hand, I always like to plan to start the year on a new foot, like most of us do. It’s a clean slate, a fresh start, a chance to change your lifestyle and kick old habits. This year, my goals were something like this:
- Quit smoking
- Consider quitting meat again
- Exercise at least 4x per week and lose some weight
- Feel better about myself and my body image
- Spend more time with my grandmother
- Eat clean
- Write more
- No deep fried
So far, I have broken four of these rules already. Quitting smoking and unhealthy eating at the same time leaves you mighty cranky. And dealing with defiant children only worsens the situation. Yesterday I found myself ready to blow by the time I took them home to their father’s at bed time. And then I went home and had a smoke. And I made guacamole out of THREE avocadoes and ate it in two sittings throughout the day. THREE AVOCADOES. I’m surprised I didn’t spend my evening on the toilet.
I always tell myself that this year will be different than the last. I will make healthy choices, I will work to attain my goals, I will love my body, I will work hard and get into my skinny girl clothes. But every year I fail and it becomes more and more depressing when you’re continually letting yourself down.
So this year, I’m not going to let a little speed bump stop me from getting there. I don’t want my body to be in pain all the time, I want to feel strong and fit instead of withering away into my later years. If I don’t do something now, it will be so much harder down the road. So if I make a mistake, or stumble, or fall behind, I will get back up and keep at it. And make it a priority to exercise, not just for the aesthetics of it, but for the mental relief it brings. For the endorphins.
So anyway, I don’t give a shit about New Year’s Eve but I do enjoy the concept of a new year and a fresh start.
What are your New Year’s resolutions? What are your traditions? What works for you when you feel yourself falling behind? What keeps you on track?