Waking Life

Embodying a moment of clarity in the storm of despair. … More Waking Life


Worry Wart

My last post focused largely on my religious beliefs and my intense fear of death.  On the subject of death, I have definitely noticed that I fear it more now than I ever have before.  I fear losing my fiancé, because I don’t know what I would ever do without him.  And I fear leaving him … More Worry Wart

Choosing My Religion

Sometimes I feel like it would be much easier to be a secular individual.  If I didn’t believe in God, I wouldn’t have to worry about the little things, and I wouldn’t be so stressed out trying to do right by the Lord all the time.  Right would be whatever I deemed it to be, for better … More Choosing My Religion

The Path

If I think back to the way my life used to be, even two years ago, so much has changed so quickly.  My behavior then was extremely self-destructive.  I let anxiety and selfishness rule my life.  I had minimal self-esteem and thrived on attention from other people.  I made poor choices for the thrill of living … More The Path


I’ve been thinking about my life and where I am right now.  I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I struggle with depression and anxiety.  One thing that really gets to me is this feeling like I am always behind on something.  The laundry needs to be folded, put away, purged etc.  The cupboards need to … More Surrender

New Year’s Eve

For as many years as I can remember, New Year’s Eve has meant sweet nothing to me.  I cannot fathom spending two or three times the amount a regular night out would cost me, and trudging through the cold while I feel it seeping into my bones and making my whole body ache, just to celebrate … More New Year’s Eve

After a While

This is a poem that a friend shared with me several years ago when I was going through some particularly hard times.  It’s quite beautiful. *************************************************************************** After a While by Veronica A. Shoffstall After a while, you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t … More After a While